A friend of mine who is in the dating world had an insight for me (she is 30 and looking for someone to share her life with):
* A majority of people she meets are taking medication for depression or anxiety
These are young people who range from 24 to 35, are working, are educated but...
but are not doing very well.
It's all about courage. You are old enough to have some experience in the world and some insight into what is ahead and that does not inspire you. Yikes.
You see people miserable in their jobs; miserable in their relationships; acting immorally at work; treating themselves and others with a lack of dignity and respect; and stuck in circumstances that they do not like. And you wonder, is that what I have to look forward to?
Like my younger clients you have been waiting for some event to happen to catapult yourself into "it"; into life; into what you really want to be doing; into something different. The bad news is that that "it" is not going to happen and if it does it may well fall into the category of "be careful what you ask for".
Maybe "you should go see somebody", get some medication, and dull those feelings. Do you really think that will help?
Here is an alternative solution.
Be courageous. Do not fall into the category of people who viagra their way to a solution. There is no pill that will make that feeling go away. But good old fashioned courage will help.
The Real You is in there and wants to come and play. You are not crazy (every single one of my clients comes and says "I think I am crazy. I have this voice that is really negative."). You are trapped and the way to get un-trapped is to be courageous and start listening to the Real You. The crappy feelings are there because you are not taking good care of it.
Here are some steps to take:
1. Choose to have a positive attitude today
2. Write down one exciting thing you want to make happen in your life
3. Ask someone one exciting thing they want to make happen in their life
4. Remember your choice to have a positive attitude today
5. Do one courageous thing
6. Repeat. Now. And then tomorrow.
You are in control of your life. Do not rely on pills or external circumstances. Take life by the balls and make a powerful choice right now.
The Real You is in there and desperately wants to come play.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Judging myself based on money - yuck!
The Meaning rEvolution will reverse the trend for us to judge what we do based on how much money we make. It will establish an honor and acknowledgement for people who treat others with dignity and respect and make a difference.
I have been caught up in this web. It is a tough one. My work with clients is amazing; I just finished a book – which is the truest expression of my belief about the world and how to make it a better place; I have time with my kids and family; I am healthy. And yet, I have been in a funk because my income is not where I want it to be.
All these great things are happening in my life and yet I am trapped under a blanket of feeling crappy about myself, my work, and my contribution.
I have been caught up in this web. It is a tough one. My work with clients is amazing; I just finished a book – which is the truest expression of my belief about the world and how to make it a better place; I have time with my kids and family; I am healthy. And yet, I have been in a funk because my income is not where I want it to be.
All these great things are happening in my life and yet I am trapped under a blanket of feeling crappy about myself, my work, and my contribution.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Good news
What if the media reported more good news than bad? How would it shift the way people think and act? Many of the decisions people make are largely based on emotion, so if someone hears that the stock market is doing poorly (for example), they will react to the news based on how that affects them personally. If we shift things to be presented in a more positive way, would people’s emotional responses reflect that positivity?
I was listening to the radio the other day and, naturally, they were talking about the poor economy and how difficult it is to find/keep a job right now. I began to feel really hopeless and negative. I started to question my path and the dreams that I have. Are they too unrealistic? Instead of getting totally sucked in, though, I made a bold decision – I turned the radio off! I am tired of hearing bad news. I want to hear good news about good people doing good things. There are sources out there that report good news. Look at Ode Magazine – their entire premise is that they report good news. I encourage everyone to spend more time reading good news than bad, and see how your attitude shifts.
I was listening to the radio the other day and, naturally, they were talking about the poor economy and how difficult it is to find/keep a job right now. I began to feel really hopeless and negative. I started to question my path and the dreams that I have. Are they too unrealistic? Instead of getting totally sucked in, though, I made a bold decision – I turned the radio off! I am tired of hearing bad news. I want to hear good news about good people doing good things. There are sources out there that report good news. Look at Ode Magazine – their entire premise is that they report good news. I encourage everyone to spend more time reading good news than bad, and see how your attitude shifts.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Family
What does family mean to you? The actual word, family – what is it? Who is your family?
We don’t get to choose our biological families (and sometimes we are faced with the non-choice of blended families, as well). Hopefully everyone was blessed with a really amazing biological family – though my guess is that not everyone was. For the sake of the rest of this blog, I will not use the term “family” to represent our biological families exclusively (though they certainly can be included, if you wish).
When you graduated from high school and moved out/moved away/went to college/got a job/or/or/or, what did you notice about the dynamics of the “family” you began to create? What did family begin to look like for you?
One thing I have noticed over the years is that the family I have created in each place I’ve lived has shared meals together. It is clearly something that is important to me – a time to unwind from a busy/stressful/fun/awful/amazing day, talk about the goods and bads, make fun plans for our time off from work/school, throw food at each other (haha . . . only kidding . . . sort of). My greatest roommate (family) experience was in my last year of college. We ate breakfast together almost every morning (we typically ate dinner together, too). Granted, our schedules were nearly identical (same major + similar part time jobs), so we didn’t have to try too hard to make it to the breakfast/dinner table. Still, we were able to share great mornings together – check in, share our hopes for the day, make coffee, rush out the door, run back inside because we forgot our coffee, and off to work/school. These were wonderful mornings because we were able to build a relationship based on honesty and accountability – two essentials in any family of mine. We knew each other and went beyond the surface-level b.s. that shallow friendships are often consumed by. We created a family.
I know that, although my sister has chosen to stay at home and attend a (great) school near our parents’ house, she has also begun to create her little family. They do all sorts of things together, and I believe they have delved deeper than the b.s. as well. My point in mentioning that is to note how important this new family is, regardless of where you are geographically.
No matter what it looks like for you, creating this family is an essential part of being in this stage of life. I have learned a lot about what I appreciated from my childhood, as well as what will be important to me when I have children of my own. In the in-between, I’ll focus my time on friendly chats and food fights.
We don’t get to choose our biological families (and sometimes we are faced with the non-choice of blended families, as well). Hopefully everyone was blessed with a really amazing biological family – though my guess is that not everyone was. For the sake of the rest of this blog, I will not use the term “family” to represent our biological families exclusively (though they certainly can be included, if you wish).
When you graduated from high school and moved out/moved away/went to college/got a job/or/or/or, what did you notice about the dynamics of the “family” you began to create? What did family begin to look like for you?
One thing I have noticed over the years is that the family I have created in each place I’ve lived has shared meals together. It is clearly something that is important to me – a time to unwind from a busy/stressful/fun/awful/amazing day, talk about the goods and bads, make fun plans for our time off from work/school, throw food at each other (haha . . . only kidding . . . sort of). My greatest roommate (family) experience was in my last year of college. We ate breakfast together almost every morning (we typically ate dinner together, too). Granted, our schedules were nearly identical (same major + similar part time jobs), so we didn’t have to try too hard to make it to the breakfast/dinner table. Still, we were able to share great mornings together – check in, share our hopes for the day, make coffee, rush out the door, run back inside because we forgot our coffee, and off to work/school. These were wonderful mornings because we were able to build a relationship based on honesty and accountability – two essentials in any family of mine. We knew each other and went beyond the surface-level b.s. that shallow friendships are often consumed by. We created a family.
I know that, although my sister has chosen to stay at home and attend a (great) school near our parents’ house, she has also begun to create her little family. They do all sorts of things together, and I believe they have delved deeper than the b.s. as well. My point in mentioning that is to note how important this new family is, regardless of where you are geographically.
No matter what it looks like for you, creating this family is an essential part of being in this stage of life. I have learned a lot about what I appreciated from my childhood, as well as what will be important to me when I have children of my own. In the in-between, I’ll focus my time on friendly chats and food fights.
Friday, March 20, 2009
A great example of taking a stand
This is amazing! Everyone should read this blog, visit this website, and take the challenge. It’s always so interesting to see what people will do (and CAN do – what an amazing feat to challenge yourself to run a marathon every day for a year!) when they really believe in something. Taking a stand is an extremely powerful thing to do, and it is filled with opportunities.
What do you stand for? What can you do about it? How will you get started?
What do you stand for? What can you do about it? How will you get started?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Feed your dreams
I have two friends who are doing something they love. It doesn’t really matter what it is – the details are insignificant. They both have jobs during the day, but at night and on the weekends they collaborate on this project that is going to be amazing. Maybe the actual project will be amazing, maybe not (I think it will). But what is already amazing is that they had an idea for something and then . . . they DID it!
I can safely say that I know more people who talk about doing things and then never do them, and less people who follow through on their big ideas. It is so fun to dream – so fun to have conversations when you’re really inspired and motivated to do something really big. But stuff always gets in the way. For me it is usually, “I don’t have the money to do that.” Or, “I can’t leave the security of my job.” Or even, “My parents/friends/people around me will not think this is the right thing to do.” I don’t want to be a person anymore who doesn’t do what she (I) really, in her (my) heart, wants to do. So, how do I fight the urge to hold on to money, jobs, and the opinions of the people around me, and get out there to do what I really, REALLY want to do?
I can safely say that I know more people who talk about doing things and then never do them, and less people who follow through on their big ideas. It is so fun to dream – so fun to have conversations when you’re really inspired and motivated to do something really big. But stuff always gets in the way. For me it is usually, “I don’t have the money to do that.” Or, “I can’t leave the security of my job.” Or even, “My parents/friends/people around me will not think this is the right thing to do.” I don’t want to be a person anymore who doesn’t do what she (I) really, in her (my) heart, wants to do. So, how do I fight the urge to hold on to money, jobs, and the opinions of the people around me, and get out there to do what I really, REALLY want to do?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
